Elrathia Kingii Trituration

Elrathia kingii was a trilobite from middle Cambrian from Utah[i]. It was a 743px-Elrathia_kingii_growth_series member of the Ptychopariids, one of the most primitive groups of trilobites[ii]. It was likely an inhabitant of the exaerobic (low oxygen) zone at the bottom of bodies of water, and is in fact one of the earliest known inhabitants of such a habitat. It was extremely common, with several million specimens being uncovered. This specimen was purchased from an Online Fossil dealer, and was triturated by myself. I allowed an unmedicated granule to rest upon the fossil, then triturated that granule to create the remedy.

C1-3

The first three levels of the trituration paint a picture of a being who feels a great fear of the outside world. It seems hostile and harmful to the being, producing feelings of anxiety, and even physical feelings of jitteriness. In response to this, the being toughens itself, creating a hard outer barrier (literally a shell) which protects it from the external world. This shell takes the form of great hostility to the outside world, or in the form of extreme tunnel vision, excluding everything outside of the beings immediate designs and goals from its focus.
C1:
Preformed May 10^th 2015:

I feel a very strong sense of shuddering and withdrawal
- I feel very afraid. I’m nervous and anxious
I feel this visceral deep fear
This feel feels very physical. It is localized to the inside of my body. The outside feels strong and tough! The outside of my body is capable of dealing with the outside world
Fear is a key emotion. I feel threatened
- I’m very jittery and Jumpy
My stomach is in knots and feeling uptight
The outsides feel tough and impenetrable. My insides, not so much…….

C2:

Preformed May 11^th 2015:

I feel very suspicious of the outside world.
I’m nervous. It is as if that suspiciousness is making me nervous inside
I still feel tough on the outside, but inside I am anxious
Paranoia and suspiciousness. It is as if the world is out to get me
- I’m very hostile
- Whatever is freaking me out, I feel very resentful towards it!
I feel a very strong feeling of wariness. There is something outside of myself that I’m very afraid of and I am watching out for it
The anxiety almost feels like a tickling all over my body, on the skin and internally
Great anger

C3:

Preformed May 12^th 2015:

I feel a different energy come over me
- I feel very intelligent, but wary
  - I’m wary of the outside world. As if I have been hurt but it before and the prospect frightens me
- I feel hostility to the world around me
  - I feel this hostility like armor. It protects me from whatever is around me
- I have hardened myself into a creature that feels nothing, that is cruel in order to make my way in the world
  - But inside I am not this
  - Inside I feel fear
- The world is scary and hostile. It frightens me so I have toughened myself, my exterior, to deal with it
- Now my exterior is tough, but I have become hard, unyielding, cold and unfeeling –this is not me
- I feel so little now. Its like all of my emotions have taken on such a narrow tone. All I feel is this kind of focus. I’m very focused on what I want. While I do feel emotions, my focus seems to be more important, it directs my attention to whatever I focus on rather than how I am feeling
  - I feel cold, unfeeling
    - But I do feel! Its just this shell and the tunnel vision block my feelings out
  - Inside I still feel fear. I still feel a nervous energy inside, despite my shell
    - The outside world still affects me
  - It is as if I built this shell to keep the outside world from affecting me (due to it causing this feeling of jitteriness), but despite this I am still affected. Something in me in troubled by the outside world- it drives me mad!
    - But what?
      - What about the world causes me to be so anxious?

This level of the trituration shows the being discovering the reason behind its previous aggravation with the outside world. The being is somehow different than the world outside of itself, and that difference was extremely disturbing to the being. This difference is different than the difference explored in layer 3, as the being is already aware of itself and who it is. However, in C4 the being discovers that this difference isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It can know, accept and even love the world outside of itself despite this difference.
Preformed May 13^th 2015:

I feel calm, connected. Much less cold than in C3
- I feel a great kindness, a love!
I feel like I can connect now without being aggravated by the outside
- That’s what that jittery tingling sensation was. It was aggravation. The outside world was different from me, and I just couldn’t deal with it
- I was aggravated and disrupted by that difference but now I can deal with it. I can love the outside world as it is! I don’t need to build a shell of hostility to protect myself
  - Difference, that is a key issue here
- It is like my internal makeup, my energy just isn’t compatible with what I see outside of me
  - But even if I am different than the outside world, I can still love it
    - And when I love the world, suddenly it doesn’t seem so bad anymore- It doesn’t aggravate me as much
  - The outside world is different, but that doesn’t have to threaten me. I can love it anyway. I can come to know it, appreciate it and eventually to love it

This level of the trituration reinforced the difference the being feels when comparing itself to the outside world. This feeling of difference causes the jitteriness in C1-3 and C5. The being feels it is too weak to cope with this difference, and becomes hostile to drive it away from itself, so it does not have to deal with it.

Preformed May 15^th 2015:

I’m again feeling hostility . Everything again seems aggravating
I’m angry. I am angry at the outside world
- The outside world provokes me
  - I feel so angry at it
- Its just so different. Its foreign. It is against everything that is me!
  - It just is soooo different
- I feel like I cannot deal with this difference
- I’m not strong enough to deal with something different than me
  - This difference causes that jittery feeling inside me
- I can’t handle it. I cant handle difference
- I feel weak, not strong enough to deal with difference, so I resent it and force it to back away from me and out of my world
- I’m hiding behind my shell. There is a wall of hostility between me and the world, or at least the part of it that I cannot deal with
  - I also feel very cold and indifferent. I’m disconnect from the outside world
- Now I am angry again

[i] Gaines, R. & Droser, M. Paleoecology of the Familiar Trilobite Elrathia kingie: An early exaerobic zone inhabitant. Geology. 2003. V 31 no 11. Pp. 941-44.

[ii] IBID.

Image Credit: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Elrathia_kingii_growth_series.jpg